when the tears starting to fall, again...

i've started to hate myself
why?
failure...

"you will only fail when you admit that you have failed"

now i admit...

i really want to start everything from the bottom.
my whole life. start again as a new person with no one that knows me. no one to care about.
forget the past, start again with new people, new environment, with no one to hold, just start back again.
it's hard when things are falling apart. everything seems not on the right track. everything seems so hard for you and you don't know what to do. and finally you realize that people are leaving soon. yes, aiman is leaving next week.

i am so happy for my roommate. she is happy with her new life, even though off from her track. but she is happy and enjoying her life.

*GOD, can you make this easier? i cannot hold on anymore. i'm losing my weight. i'm losing myself. i'm losing everything. i know, this is for good. but can YOU, please? just one good news, please.

*i need more time. until when? i dont know. just hope it won't be so long. everything seems to be so not ok.

do i sound so pathetic? or koyak? let me be coz i really am right now.